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| What I've been doing for the past 3 weeks:
- desperately tried to learn to swim. Now that school has started, I can't get my lazy arse up early on Mondays to go swimming.
- emo-ed a lot. Maybe "a lot" is an understatement. =/
- sat at the void deck late at night a lot. Even brought my guitar down once and sang "You'll always be my baby". Nutcase ~__~
- did very little programming. (I'm so sorry Mr Gary and group mates! I've been making quite some progress this week though ^__^)
- spent at least like $60? on cab fare wtf. ~__~ broke.
- missed home so much I felt like crying every time I called back. =(((
- had ups and downs. Major ones.
random random random I have a fruit tart in the fridge ^__^
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| How I wish I could just shut this blog away from some people who I don't want to reveal myself to.. This is something personal, just for me and my close ones to read.. But I'm being a hypocrite, because if I really bothered, I could do just that, yet I didn't; maybe a part of me is attention-seeking, bah! What a dilemma! I guess it's quite safe to say most of us have that side? =/
Last week was the first week of term 2, after 2 whole weeks of holidays.. I still went to school during the holidays, still went to NUH every Saturday without fail.. It's exhausting. It's not funny when you have to work on a software from Monday to Friday and for another separate project on Saturdays. It's physically and mentally exhausting. I feel isolated from the world, from my friends and loved ones. A pile of clothing waiting to be ironed greets me everyday; i feel so ashamed of myself. My room is in a mess; does it reflect my life too?
I have so many bottled up frustrations in me but I just can't put it into words. Staring at this blinking line, typing some and then erasing them again; I end up writing nothing.
As I sat on the window, with my legs dangling freely, the cool breeze caressing my skin, I thought through my options. Was I to take the easy way out? Leaving everything in a mess as it is now, leaving sorrow and sadness to those who cared.. A selfish part of me wanted to leave the mess for someone else, cause sorrow, regret and guilt for others..I never did; the fear of death was too overwhelming for me. I felt like a coward, running away from my problems, furiously occupying myself to avoid what's been bothering me the most..
It scares me that I could forgive the verbal abuse; perhaps I felt that I deserved that or that the love I have for you made me do so? I dare not demand much; I'm a dreamer but who knows about my dreams? Who knows about my loneliness, four empty walls greeting me when I come "home". I'm far away from home, far away from the comfort of being in a family.. Who knows about my endless worries and responsibilities?
I'm happy now, being with you feels like it completes me.. Do you feel the same way too? I smile stupidly at the littlest of gestures; a short mesage, holding hands, building an extra PC so that I won't feel bored.. I remember many things, just that I keep quiet most of the time.. It's not that I forget or I didn't notice, it's just that I never did say it out..
Aishiteru
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| I want I want I want (for the millionth time) =( I want!
 Nice? Me likey! =D xFoooooong should i get this?? =D Bored. MP is fun but draining. Mon - Fri at school, Saturdays at NUH. Saturdays are especially fun! =D Presentation on Monday for the NUH peeps about APD and P300! And please stop imitating the way I speak. It's disgusting. And fake. And disgusting =/. I hate people who pretend to do everything and then after that blames their team member for not contributing. And lets the poor dude do all the "sai kang" (shitty work). Oh please. I love Subway! =] | | |
| Gerger gave birth to 3 babies! omggggsssss haha i'm so anxious cause the last time she gave birth, all the babies died cause she never feed them! =((((
She's so cute cause she gathered lots of food in the bath sand bowl and then piled pieces of tissue on it and gave birth there! And she sleeps there with the babies in the bowl! When I went to peek just now, Boiboi was in the bowl too wtf haha
So many farnee things happened today..
1) We were talking crap in front of the Western Food stall and then I mentioned about man boobs. The guy queue-ing there stared at me. FML
2) Rathi Ash and I walked past this Indian guy and he had body odour!!! The moment he walked past me I said "OMG he smells..............BAD!" hahaha
3) There was this earthworm in my terrarium which now houses my new cactus! Cause the old plant died. =/ And I spent most of the day staring at the damn worm. *dig dig dig*
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| End of week1 of MP weeee i love my DU (Diploma Unit)!!! haha Kiwi is there, Rathi Ash too! And it's so comfy and spacious and I get to put all my dumplings there (Mr. Chua never said a ting >< hehe) !!
Been learning MATLAB! Like wtf lo, CKTSIG only tried it once... I'm so totally more comfortable with Java / C language.. And I've been talking to a PLANT! hahaha!
And xF!! I bought the F21 dress hahaha!!!! hehehe!!!
I'll be going to NUH on Monday and Tuesday for training...>_< alone! So scared lah!!! Don't know what to wear oso... haih the stupid covered shoes left me with blisters everywhere!!
AND AND AND yufei is helping me to get my dream bag woo hoo hehehe so happy can! =DDDD
i love my MP, my supervisor (Mr. Gary!!! =DDDD), my group mates (hehe i feel like i always bully them) and my DU!!!!
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